Calories per Dollar
an incomplete list
On the whole, my goal is to eat as much as possible for as cheap as possible.
And, especially now with trying to maintain an above-balance intake, I need to constantly cram as many calories into me for the lifting gains. Generally, this means taking a loss in food quality for a gain in sheer numbers, and although this is more of a free-for-all with food types, there are a few that are blatantly ignored for being too sinful.
Generally Cheap per Calorie
Pizza (fast food + frozen)
Burgers (fast food)
Meal replacement shakes (on sale)
Clif bars (on sale)
Store-bought pastas
Rice (parboiled)
Eggs
Cake and brownie mixes
Pancake mix
French bread ($1 superstore bakery)
Mayo and ranch
PC brand vanilla cookies (a whole flat of 'em is like $2)
Middling ratio Choices
Restaurant pastas
Vietnamese
Cheeses
Deli hams
Salmon (fresh)
Burgers (frozen or homemade)
Ground beef
Chicken
Milk (particularly ultrafiltered)
Cheesecake (frozen)
Berries and fruit (frozen)
Bananas, cucumber and tomatoes (fresh)
Other fresh breads like sourdough or raisin loaf
Low Calories or High Dollar ratio
Fruits and vegetables (esp bell peppers, lettuce)
Things like jerky
Bacon (esp in restaurants, arguable storebought)
Most name-brand snacks like Oreos
Generally not in diet
Fries
Soda / related sugar drinks inc. fruit juices
Doughnuts
Chocolate, candy, chips, etc.
Caffeine
Comparison of Fast Food Burgers
This might end up being pretty Canada-specific, particularly where A&W is concerned since the US version is completely different.
On the whole, we're looking at whatever the biggest possible burger is from any given location.
We're not getting combos because while the goal is to cram as many calories down as possible and we're doing it in a dirty dirty way, I remain convinced that soda is complete poison. Fries are pretty underperforming for macros since there's no protein and they add a lot of sodium, which we're getting too much of in the burgers anyway. Salt generally is okay, but if we can choose less of it (and pay less) then everyone wins.
However, fries are also decent as a ratio of calories per dollar, depending on prices, because they're just so bloody caloric. 300-500 for a regular. If you genuinely want the dirtiest calories possible, it's an option.
I haven't been to McD's in years, couldn't tell ya. They do seem to have some decent coupons, could be worth investigating. I did go once to try out the neat touch screen ordering thing.
Dairy Queen had a very economical value meal for a while there that had a small burger, fries, drink and sundae for $6 but a) they've since taken it off and b) since half of those items are sugar, it's not in my ideal zone anymore. Would rather just spend $6 on a bigger burger, but theirs are weirdly expensive by themselves.
Same with Wendy's: anything that's not the Triple or the sneaky value menu trick is really pretty underperforming - most of the 'normal' burgers are really pretty expensive and honestly, I think Wendy's is just pretty gross generally. Would much rather do A&W for those price ranges.
Fat Burger too - I've only eaten there twice and don't remember, but I feel like it was disappointing.
Burger King is low on the quality barrel as far as I'm concerned, but purely based on numbers the whopper wednesday deal (which is what it sounds like: on wednesdays whoppers are cheaper and you get two) is the winner for calories per dollar ratio. I don't think the cheese choice strictly performs, but up to you.
Pub Food
In recent years, pubs and restaurants have drastically inflated prices and offered very little in return, I've almost wholesale stopped going to them at this point.
I think it was an attempt to be classier - every local haunt started calling themselves a "gastropub" whatever that means and suddenly their meals are $17 for pretty middling quantities and qualities of food. It's still pub fare. The burger is still a pub burger even if you put chutney on it to be fancy.
Related to Why I Don't Drink, there's just little point in me going and spending that much.
Non-Fast Food Places
I'm not sure what to call these, but vietnamese restaurants come strongly to mind: cheaper than western restaurants, often great quantities but not really 'fast food' joints. I really like vermicelli and beef with spring rolls and basically every restaurant, no matter where you go, seems to make the exact same one. I swear independent vietnamese restaurants have better consistency than some chain franchises.
This will tend to be $10-12 + tip.
There's also a local beefdip shop near me where you can get a beefdip the size of your head for $13 + tip and it's really good quality slow roasted aged beef. The owner looks like Sylvester Stallone and the small shop is covered in cowboy posters from old spaghetti westerns and Clint Eastwoods.
I'm not sure these are strictly pragmatic value choices, but I would describe the quality / health as better and if pubs are out, sometimes you just want something else.
Tipping
Since we're talking about it, I guess I'll just say: tipping is included in calories per dollar.
If you can get 1000 calories here and not have to tip (ie, fast food) or 1000 calories there and it's an extra couple bucks, that's still an extra couple bucks.
Personally? I think tips are ridiculous and we should all adopt the Japanese view on the subject.
I do tip anyone who comes to me: servers and drivers. If I walk up to the ordering bar, it's generally not a tipping place (local beefdip shop excluded) and since I always drive to pick up my own pizza, I don't tip them either (pizza delivery is like +50% of the cost of the pizza itself, it's crazy)
Domino's doesn't expect a tip on pickup, Pizza Hut does. The little credit card thing prompts you and it takes like three menus to decline which feels completely shady and I've been told by cashiers that they don't even get the tip - it just goes to the restaurant itself. I'm convinced it's a guilt scam to extract a few bucks from every person who buys from them, probably adding a healthy margin to the franchise.
Also, since it has to prompt for tipping you have to insert your card chip and use the menus + a PIN which is so many more steps than tap-to-pay at Dom's. Minor frictions.
But, when you do tip, tip well.
Pizza
Since this is going to be a very big subject, it gets its own page.
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